The Latest Friendship Bracelet News From MyFBM

Bullying vs. Mean Behavior

Teenage girl being bullied

Bullying versus Mean Behavior

By Mary Jo Ciani-Gaddie, M.A., L.L.P.C., Founder, Friendship Builders

 

A friend of mine recently asked for advice on an incident of bullying against his daughter. He was appalled and even I was shocked by this story…

His daughter, “Amy,” was at a basketball game when her teammate, “Lauren,” asked her to save “her seat” while she went to get a drink. Amy wasn’t paying much attention and before she knew it another girl sat down in the open seat. Amy felt uncomfortable asking the girl to move, so she didn’t. When Lauren returned and found someone sitting in “her seat” she became so enraged that she threw the whole drink of water on Amy’s lap!!!

WHO DOES THAT? What would you do after the shock of having someone throw water on you? Amy calmly dried herself off, and simply said, “Really, Lauren?” When Amy’s dad asked how she could be so calm, she answered, “Karma, Dad. Nobody gets away with acting like that. It will come back to her!”

Amy decided to let it go and not take it personal. My friend could not! He was frustrated by what he perceived as a bullying situation and angry that his daughter didn’t stand up for herself. He has always known about Lauren’s reputation for being mean and thought if she got away with this, she would continue to bully other girls. He wanted to contact Lauren’s parents, the coaches, the school principal and anyone else who would listen! In his opinion, Lauren’s behavior was unacceptable and he wanted her reprimanded.

I empathized with my friend and agreed that her behavior was mean, rude, nasty and unacceptable. Here’s the deal…it still doesn’t make it bullying. It was a one time occurrence and although it was a doozey, it still wasn’t bullying. It was simply a mean behavior. If Lauren threw water at Amy every time she annoyed her that would be bullying.

I’m passionate about properly identifying the difference between bullying and mean behaviors because as soon as the behavior is identified as bullying, your child becomes the victim. As parents we need to empower our children and not let them view themselves as someone’s target. We don’t want them to think of themselves as victims. Clearly, Lauren is the one who has the “issues” here and somehow Amy knew that.

My friend found it difficult to see my point of view. I went on to explain that if Amy would have bought into the bullying theory she would have become a victim and her self-esteem would have taken a hit. She would have started to question herself and perhaps re-think situations that make her uncomfortable. We don’t ever want her to waiver in her convictions and do things that make her uncomfortable. He finally came to understand just how well Amy reacted to Lauren’s anger. She demonstrated a level of maturity of which few teens (or adults) would be capable. I was incredibly proud of how she handled the situation and in the end her dad was, too.

Footnote: Amy begged her dad not to get involved and he honored that request. That further empowered her. As parents, we want to “fix” our children’s problems, especially when they are treated this badly. Her dad said she “beamed” when he told her how proud he was of her. They also took my suggestion and agreed to report this incident to the coach. This is not tattling! This is making him aware of a serious problem behavior that could end badly if Lauren ever decided to do this again.

Blog Entries

Winter

5 Ways to Beat the Winter Blues!

5 Ways to Beat the Winter Blues When it’s cold outside and the days seem so short, it’s easy to feel boarded up and secluded. The endless inches of snow and slippery ice combined with darkness and lack of vitamin D can really affect one’s energy level and often makes one moody. The good news […]

Valentines-Day-background_main

Get Creative on Valentine’s Day!

  Valentine’s Day is a great time to show those around you how much you care. Check out some of our friendship bracelet patterns that are PERFECT for spreading the love.                                                 […]

Good Friends

Why Good Friends Make you Happy

Happiness is something we all strive for: to give happiness to others and to be happy ourselves. We stumbled upon this article about why good friends make you happy.   You can read the article here. Let us know what you think! Like this:Like Loading…

Samurai_on_horseback0

Kumihimo Bracelets: A Look into the Past

Did you know that Kumihimo bracelets have a rich history and meaning? Take a look at this very interesting review on My Circle of Creativity where Grace gives us a deeper look into the meaning behind these symbolic bracelets. Check it out here! Like this:Like Loading…

barrettes1

We LOVE this review on My Ribbon Barrette Maker!

Check out this review of My Ribbon Barrette Maker. There’s even an instructional video! #ChooseFriendship Like this:Like Loading…

Review

Check Out This Awesome Review of My Circle of Creativity!

  Take a look at what one blogger thought of My Circle of Creativity! Check it out on his blog here. Thanks, Ben! Like this:Like Loading…

Friends

How Does One Form a Strong Friendship?

Check out this article we found on friendship. It’s very thought-provoking and is a great read! Have any comments? We’d love to hear them! Email office@choosefriendship.com or comment below. #ChooseFriendship   Like this:Like Loading…

Screen Shot 2014-12-23 at 2.38.39 PM

DIY Peppermint Bark Puppy Chow: 25-Day Craft Challenge

‘Tis the Crafting Season! Are you up for the challenge? Follow along with our video installments to create cool and colorful, wearable, shareable must-gives and must-haves!  Today’s craft challenge is delicious peppermint puppy chow. This is the perfect snack to have out as your guests arrive for Christmas dinner! The best thing is, it’s very […]

Screen Shot 2014-12-23 at 11.38.24 AM

DIY Mobile Chandelier: 25-Day Craft Challenge

‘Tis the Crafting Season! Are you up for the challenge? Follow along with our video installments to create cool and colorful, wearable, shareable must-gives and must-haves!  Today’s craft challenge is a DIY mobile chandelier. This craft looks awesome in a bedroom and is a great gift for your designer friends! Customize it to make it […]

Screen Shot 2014-12-22 at 10.47.40 AM

DIY Ornament: 25-Day Craft Challenge

‘Tis the Crafting Season!   Are you up for the challenge? Follow along with our video installments to create cool and colorful, wearable, shareable must-gives and must-haves!    Today’s craft challenge is a DIY ornament. This craft is unique and a lot of fun to do! It will look awesome on your Christmas tree or […]

Screen Shot 2014-12-22 at 10.11.33 AM

DIY Image Necklace: 25-Day Craft Challenge

‘Tis the Crafting Season! Are you up for the challenge? Follow along with our video installments to create cool and colorful, wearable, shareable must-gives and must-haves!  Today’s craft challenge is a DIY image necklace. This craft is super easy to do with My Image Bracelet Maker. Check it out! Don’t forget to register for the […]

Screen Shot 2014-12-19 at 11.55.32 AM

DIY Peppermint Hot Cocoa: 25-Day Craft Challenge

‘Tis the Crafting Season!   Are you up for the challenge? Follow along with our video installments to create cool and colorful, wearable, shareable must-gives and must-haves!  Today’s craft challenge is DIY peppermint hot cocoa. Make it for yourself or give it as a nice gift to the cook on Christmas day! Don’t forget to […]

Get Social with MyFBM!

Instagram Bracelets Image-Bracelet Photo Bracelet

MyFBM On Instagram

Make #kumihimo #friendshipbracelets with My Circle Of Creativity. #myfbm #choosefriendship #lotsofknots #colors #embroidery #floss #string #bff #diy #craft #create http://ift.tt/1fTISnc
#lanyard #boondoggle #scoubidou #gimp #bracelets #friendship bracelets Made with My Lanyard Maker! Find yours today at Michaels http://ift.tt/1c1VMLK
Create the reverse #squareknot #friendshipbracelet with My #Lanyard Maker! Myfbm.com for details!!! #craft #diy #colors #cool #knot #gimp #scoubidou #myfbm #choosefriendship http://ift.tt/1iQLk1q
#pink #friendshipbracelets #bracelets #bff #myfbm #choosefriendship #love #diy #craft #embroidery #myfriendshipbraceletmaker myfbm.com http://ift.tt/McPeng

MyRBM Awards

My Ribbon Barrette Maker®

MyFBM Awards

TRUSTe online privacy certification
TRUSTe Children privacy certification
%d bloggers like this: